Third Daughter.

In China it is the son (or actually the son's wife) who takes care of elderly parents. That is why every couple desperately wants a son and why baby girls used to be abandoned or adopted out of the country. This is changing in the "new China," however.

Our delightful tour guide in the Xi'an area quickly became a favorite of the group. "Tell us about your family," I said during a long bus ride. "I am a third daughter," she said, with a little bit of pride and a little bit of defiance. Gasp! We all knew it was not good to be a third daughter in China.

She is 27. So in 1987 it was not wise to have a third child. Her parents were farmers and had had two little girls already. Hopefully, they decided to try again to get that little boy. They were poor and knew they would have to pay a fine; they went ahead anyway.

Sylvia was born and they could only afford part of the fine. The government took the baby away. It was the grandmother who saved this baby girl. She came up with the remainder of the money to pay the fine and the baby was returned to them.

As things turned out, Sylvia's eldest sister married a man from Switzerland and moved there with him. They will probably never see her again. The second sister married a man from a far away city and they rarely see her. So who goes back to the farm every weekend or so to help her elderly parents? Sylvia, of course!